Although my senses were clouded by the actions of multiple unsynchronised menstrual cycles, I believe that the brief attention paid to these human women during the campaign elevated their moods and as a result may influence their votes in my husband’s favour.

“Hair movement is a sign of weakness” - Jack Donaghy.

Many human biologists think the smile originated as a sign of fear, evolving into a “fear grin” stemming from monkeys and apes who often used barely clenched teeth to portray to predators that they were harmless. The effect is most pronounced when placating reporters and neutralising unwanted probing questions. 

Although foolish and base, the ends justify the means.

Our interview earlier today was positively received, with the human reporters responding appropriately to our expressive displays of warmth.